It's Been a While...

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Your perfect love is casting out fear...

(Matt Redman)

Sorry for the lag in postings. Lately, I haven't felt able to express myself. So many things have happened, so many emotions. The best and most exciting thing has been that, for me, teaching has become something I can enjoy. So quickly things can change. The line from Matt Redman's song struck me tonight as I listened to it at life group. I was sitting there crying at how incredible God has been to me... wondering how I could go from such anxiety and frustration to being able to take things one class at a time, to love the kids, and to enjoy the day. I am even able to help with extracurricular things! (I am the proud girls' hurdling coach at East Juniata.) Because I want to be. At one point, it was all I could do to make it through six periods, get home, and sit down. Now...I am free. How could God allow this for me? It's too good, too much. 

...it's because He not only did all that, but He taught me to be content and to love. When I see my kids and find so much joy in them... when I see them and try to visualize how the Lord sees them, rather than how my frustrated or annoyed self sees them, then... wow. I truly see them. I am not afraid of them or of my own abilities. God is more than enough for me and for them, and I have a burning desire to magnify that to them. I want them to know so badly the freedom they can have in Jesus. The freedom I have. The way my life is different now than it would have been had I not known Him. 

It's not as if I am able to do this on my own... or even at this point that I am able to do this every moment. But God is challenging me, increasing my strength to live the moment. And it is so good. I pray the same for you. In every situation, every day. 

Now, I have a four-day, beautiful weekend. I will try to post again sooner next time!

PS:

Check out Addison Road, a really neat new Christian group on iTunes: 

I may never be the one that gets the second glance

I may never be the one they call the prettiest

That's alright with me

Maybe I don't follow every crazy passion

Spend all my time trying to get a good reaction

That's ok with me. 

This world is like a trampoline

High and low, no in-between

Jumpin' at the chance to please everyone

That's not me

All that matters is

All that matters is

Your love has set me free

And that's all that matters to me.

My life comes from the One 

Who made the stars and brought the sun

He loves me more than these

So I don't need another identity!