Imagined Chaos

For the past few months, I've been really stressed. Ever felt like you just can't wake up in the morning? Or like you'd rather just live in a world where every day is Sunday? And you wish every moment could be like Saturday morning right before you wake up (having slept in, of course) with the sun warming the inside of your eyelids and your toes all cozy in the bottom of the sheets?

Yeah. Me too.

Today, though, I realized that I have to do more than sleep. And I also realized something earth-shattering. All this stress and chaos has been rather unnecessary. I was sitting in my grad. class doing an assignment where we had to write down the title of the book of our lives, and "Imagined Chaos" came to mind right away. Strange. What does it mean? I even asked myself. I realized that so much of my stress is imagined. Or rather, it is blown out of proportion to heights that I know I have to be imagining. I work myself up. I see the negative. I somehow miss the peace, the rest, the joy: I am so focused on being frustrated that I can't even relax when I'm relaxing. Teaching will do that to a person in her first year, I suppose. Yeah, I'm a teacher. Tenth grade English. Wooo... even saying it is tiring.

The title of this blog also clues you in to the fact that I'm married. And young. Now, my dears, that part of my life I love. Marc rarely stresses me out. In fact, he tends to do just the opposite. Having only been married a little over a year with a husband still finishing his undergrad degree, I can only give what small bits of wisdom I have gleaned. However, I give those little pearls freely-- from weddings, fights, in-laws, and romance to working full-time, trying not to have babies, being on a budget, and living peacefully. This little outlet of mine will have it all.

It will even have a sprinkling of poetry/literature here and there, because... well, I like it.
So to start you off, for now, here is a beautifully appropriate quote for today by T.S. Eliot:

"Time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time."

Learn it, live it.